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Saturday, May 07, 2005


, originally uploaded by slowchildrenatplay.

I just wanted to say thanks to my best friend for being such a great mom to my kids....ok, and to me sometimes. I told you today that every day is Mother's Day for you, and its true. We appreciate you everyday. I am so thankful that your heart is big enough for all of us. You opened your home, and lowered your walls so that we could make this work. My kids have never been happier, and I owe that to you. I can't imagine my kids doing as well, or being as happy, anywhere else. Elizabeth Hurley still ranks a close second, but you have killer water pressure in the shower and we did just sign that cell-phone contract.

I love you very much....Happy Mother's Day, Kristine!! And to all you other Mothers out there, especially the Fonz and Kath, have a GREAT Mother's Day.

posted by Shaun at 11:57 PM
link | 11 comments


History of Shaun, Part One


I was born a poor black child. Ok, maybe not, but I WAS born in Oakland, CA in 1969. My dad was in the Navy, and my mom's hair remained tall and proud in protest of the rapidly ending sixties.

Shotly after I was born, my parents bought a quaint little cottage in lovely South Sacramento (OK, it was actually more like the JV version of Oakland....Oakland Lite, maybe). I visited the house a few years ago, and it was painted red and black. True. I can tell my children that I grew up in a Nike.

For some twisted reason, I can still remember the address and phone number of that house. Might have something to do with the way parents drilled that into you as a kid in the 70's....like those damn Schoolhouse Rock tunes (sorry to those of you are singing "Conjunction Junction" or "I'm just a Bill" now). Anyhow, this was the home of my formative years:

I learned the lyrics of my favorite singer and future Mrs. Shaun, Miss Toni Tennille, by playing the record over and over and writing as fast as I could.

When I slept, I faced away from The Bad Wall, the wall in my room that gave me nightmares and that will be a Stephen King movie someday.

I watched baseball games and monster movies with my dad. King Kong played every summer, don't think I ever missed it.

I made forts out of bed sheets and our kitchen table and chairs.

My dad made a life-size Frankenstein for a book report for college literature.

I played....outside, with no electronic assistance. Just me and my Big Wheel. Maybe there'll be a Big Wheel game on XBox soon, so my son can share the same experience.

I remember catching a bee, drowning it in the bathroom sink so I could examine it under my new microscope, then stinging myself with the dead bee. Apparently bees make honey and karma, most schools don't tell you that.

I watched the Flintstones, The Brady Bunch, and The Electric Company (fyi for those of you nice enough to still be paying attention, Spider Man in The Electric Company was played by a young actor named Morgan Freeman). I cried at the end of the Mickey Mouse Club everyday, when they sang the song slowly..."M-I-C, see ya real soon...K-E-Y".....Steve Austin (Six Million Dollar Man) was my hero because he was cool and one of his girlfriends (Farrah Fawcett) was named Major Wood on the show......how fitting! The Bionic Woman sprouted up later, but I always felt like she was too clingy. She must have only cost $5 million to make.

I saw Star Wars twice at the theater, and met Darth Vader at Mervyn's during a promotional event. Darth seemed shorter than he looked in the movie, and I think Mervyn's must have had some policy against using the Force and/or Light Saber in the store, because Darth was actually nice enough to let us take polaroids of him. You'd think he would have worried about the Jedi learning of his location.
I took regular baths with twin girls that lived next door. REGULARLY. Like, they were scheduled. I still don't know how this seemed in any way appropriate by our parents, and I certainly don't remember how I broached the subject. Finding twins to bathe with became more diffult in my teen years, but thanks to Lisa and Renee for the kindergarten pimp status!! Bow-chik-a-bow-bow.

Part Two will delve into my bed-wetting, fire-starting, and dismemberment of creatures larger than bees. And hair, oh God the hair.

posted by Shaun at 1:28 AM
link | 7 comments

Thursday, May 05, 2005


Our girls' 6th grade class has been sending letters to Dennis since he arrived in Afghanistan last year. He's enjoyed reading the letters and has passed them along to other troops for their enjoyment.

Today, he visited his little sisters and fellow pen-pals at school. He forgot his boots, so he wasn't able to attend in uniform, as he'd hoped to do. It didn't matter. He had the attention, and respect, of the entire class.

For an hour, he answered questions about weapons and vehicles and life in the army....but mostly questions about food. He got more sympathy when he told them that he ate cafeteria food, like they do, only THREE times a day(yuck, even the pretend tuna on a bagel), than he got when he told them about rocket attacks and land mines. Most of the kids' questions were very impressive, but he got the most enjoyment answering some of the more detailed questions with an "I'm not able to talk about that" answer. Ooooh, top secret army stuff. Now he REALLY had their attention.

At the end of the meeting, they took a class picture with their new hero. When they asked him for his autograph, he was blown away. I couldn't have been prouder, and I don't think he could either.

posted by Shaun at 8:49 PM
link | 11 comments

Monday, May 02, 2005


, originally uploaded by slowchildrenatplay.

We have nicknames like Smokes, Gunther, and Sk8r Boi. Half the team smokes, some drink before the game, and we generally suck. The pre-game pep talk consisted of them deciding who needed to talk to the police first about the bar fight that sent our pitcher to the hospital last weekend. Those of us not involved aren't even phased by the conversation.

We play in a men's softball league at a now-defunct former Air Force Base on a field with sharp chain linked fences and holes in the outfield. I'm the oldest on the team, and I'm the fastest guy. All of these factors mean we rarely win. The Bad News Bears ain't got nothing on us.

We played tonight and lost to a team of guys wearing jeans. Jeans. Like they decided to play some ball while they were on break from work. And they beat the crap out of us. Wearing jeans. Thank God they had shoes on.

posted by Shaun at 10:44 PM
link | 10 comments

Sunday, May 01, 2005


, originally uploaded by slowchildrenatplay.

You'll have to excuse my absence from Blogville over the last few days. My dad is in the hospital after suffering a heart attack. While he's still there, it looks like it was treated quickly enough to limit the damage to his heart. We'll know more soon.

Scary stuff, obviously. No word on whether the recent Pope Idol and/or Constantine drama had anything to do with his heart attack. Actually, we joked about Constantine's departure while he was still in the ER. Of course, he was also on Morphine and explaining to me what a good idea it was to have moving air vents on the ceiling for the patients (it wasn't moving....but I played along). Also, 'Advancement Preferences' is the new PC term for putting in writing any restrictions you want placed on life support issues. My Dad said his preference was to not die. Good enough for me.

He laughed when Kristine showed up with a box of Jujubes (Seinfeld reference that he appreciated), and laughed again today when he and my son watched and did a little play-by-play of pro bowling on tv. He's the funniest man I've ever known. He laughs a lot, and I'm glad that it looks like he'll still be laughing with me for awhile.

Thanks for all the kind words and prayers, especially to the bestest jujube-getting girlfriend ever. Having an 'in' with the Pope is paying dividends already.

posted by Shaun at 2:04 AM
link | 11 comments

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This is ONLY a blog. If this had been actual news, it wouldn't be as funny and you'd be watching it on TV, where everything is true.


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