Saturday, April 23, 2005
Wow!!! In one of the most incredible comebacks in Papal history, the Fonz pulled away with late voting to topple favorites Samuel L and Oprah.
Wednesday, April 20, 2005
This is the moment you've been waiting for.....me to stop this seemingly endless series of Pope Idol posts!! Thats right, the painfully monotonous competition is nearing its end. In just a moment, the choice will be yours, world. First, lets go to our judges for their final opinions.
Teresa, of the remaining six contestants, who do you think should be wearing the funny hat?
Oh, Shaun....really, it should be you up there. You sacrifice computer time to your Bestest Girlfriend for her blogging needs. You replace toilet paper when needed. And don't get me started on your grilled cheese sandwiches....
Teresa, sweetie.....thanks, but this thing realllllly needs to ends now. The Flickr account is filled with weird photos of Samuel Jackson and Martha Stewart instead of my own children!! Now, of the REMAINING SIX, who should win?
I love them all. At this stage, they are all winner's on God's eyes (Jesus rolls his eyes and runs his fingers through his hair in frustration). I love you all.
OK, whatever, Teresa. Rev. Jesse, can you make a solid decision?
Yo, Shaun. I thought you forgot about me, dawg. On the occasion I've had to consider the religious ramifications of each of our potential pontiffs, I've determined that a strong black man in the robe would unite the world. So my vote would be for Poprah. She started off shaky, but those boobs are tha bommmmmmmb, dude!!
Yeahhhh.......all righty. Jesus?
Shaun, I think these two are nuts. (Crowd boos and Teresa elbows Jesus in the arm) If I'm being honest with you, and I AM Jesus, none of these contestants are nearly as qualified as Pope JP Deuce, our last winner. When he won in '78, he finished strong with an amazing acapella version of Rapper's Delight. And THAT was after beating Ricardo Montalban in the dune buggy race and topping Cheryl Ladd in the roller-skating limbo contest. JP2 was a real Pope, and I'm not sure that these contestants measure up. (Crowd boos again). If I had to vote, I guess I'd have to go with Samuel L.
OK, world. You've seen the contestants. You've made your comments. Now, vote!! I believe you can only vote once per computer, so you'll have to be creative if you want to vote mulitple times. Feel free to comment along with your vote, if you'd like. I'll total the votes in the next couple of days and announce the winner. Then I'll get back to posting about regular boring stuff instead of made-up boring stuff. So vote, and remember these are NOT 800 numbers....they're actually not numbers at all.
Tuesday, April 19, 2005
Welcome back to the Pope Idol Finals. We've just welcomed back the Fonz and completed our swimsuit competition. Now for the formal Popewear..............
World, your contestants...........
ok, everyone.......the polls will be open soon(Next post, actually). Take a final look at your favorites. Shaun ouuuuuttttttttttttt.
Monday, April 18, 2005
Sunday, April 17, 2005
Welcome back World.....here we are, the Finals of Pope Idol The Finals will be a two-part competition, the swimsuit competition and the Pope Robe competition. Then the decision will be YOURS for the next Pope!!! I'm sure you're all ready for the hot swimsuit action, so awayyyyyyy we go.
Homer is wearing a whiti bikini-style swimsuit from Springfield YMCA.
Madonna is frolicking in a black one-strap suit from CatholicBikinis.com
Samuel L is wearing, well, just black shorts. Lets face it, you're voting for the abs if you vote for Sam.
Oprah is wearing......looks like a minimal suit from the Harpo Collection.
And finally, Bono. Whoa, I was expecting Bono to be in better shape with all the touring and such. OK, well, Bono is sporting a handsome pair of tight black shorts with a faded tank top. The matching blue flip-flops and glasses complete the ensemble.
Now remember, please don't vote until after Part Two, the Pope Robe competition. So until then, Shaun oouuuuuttttt!!!!
Disclaimer For The Stupid
This is ONLY a blog. If this had been actual news, it wouldn't be as funny and you'd be watching it on TV, where everything is true.
Other Slow Children
The BESTEST girlfriend EVER
i'll add more later