Tuesday, May 10, 2005
OK, so last week I got my big break.....the part I was born to play. When one of our techs called me and told me I had the personality of a blood drop, I just KNEW. For our annual blood drive, my work needed someone to play Drippy the Blood Drop. Everyone said it was because no one else would do it, but I knew destiny when I saw it. I imagine this must have been the feeling that the non-Keanu guy felt when Bill And Ted's Excellent Adventure fell into his lap. So I put on the costume and walked through my building. The reactions and exchanges varied.
"Oh, an M&M!!!"
"No, I'm a blood drop."
"Oh, OK. Is the blood drive today?"
"No, all my other clothes were dirty."
"Hey guys, guess which gang I'm representing?"
"Never mind. The blood drive's today."
Me running out of the elevator like the blood from "The Shining" for a repairman. He didn't get it.
My audience (State workers for a popular West Coast state that Sacramento is in) obviously couldn't keep up with my material. So I decided to go outside and stand next to the blood drive sign and balloons. I could wave at cars, convince people to stop and donate blood, thereby saving lives. I was going to be a hero.
I went outside and almost tripped into some shrubs, where I would have been trapped like an overturned turtle. Luckily, my catlike reflexes and balance kept me upright. I waved to the left, waved to the right. I got the occasional wave, a few honks, one middle finger (must have been one of those pompous marrow donors), and a carload of teenagers yelling "Heyyyyy Kool-Aid!!!" I would have flipped them off but my Scott Sabol-like gloves only have four fingers. One car stopped, and a couple of guys donated. My work was done.
Until the Academy starts the Oscar-hype machine, I think I'm going to relax, take some time off. Kristine, tell Leno I'm holding out for Conan.
posted by Shaun at 9:14 AM
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