Slow Children At Play

Tuesday, May 10, 2005

OK, so last week I got my big break.....the part I was born to play. When one of our techs called me and told me I had the personality of a blood drop, I just KNEW. For our annual blood drive, my work needed someone to play Drippy the Blood Drop. Everyone said it was because no one else would do it, but I knew destiny when I saw it. I imagine this must have been the feeling that the non-Keanu guy felt when Bill And Ted's Excellent Adventure fell into his lap. So I put on the costume and walked through my building. The reactions and exchanges varied.

"Oh, an M&M!!!"
"No, I'm a blood drop."
"Oh, OK. Is the blood drive today?"
"No, all my other clothes were dirty."

"Hey guys, guess which gang I'm representing?"
"Huh?"
"Never mind. The blood drive's today."

Me running out of the elevator like the blood from "The Shining" for a repairman. He didn't get it.

My audience (State workers for a popular West Coast state that Sacramento is in) obviously couldn't keep up with my material. So I decided to go outside and stand next to the blood drive sign and balloons. I could wave at cars, convince people to stop and donate blood, thereby saving lives. I was going to be a hero.

I went outside and almost tripped into some shrubs, where I would have been trapped like an overturned turtle. Luckily, my catlike reflexes and balance kept me upright. I waved to the left, waved to the right. I got the occasional wave, a few honks, one middle finger (must have been one of those pompous marrow donors), and a carload of teenagers yelling "Heyyyyy Kool-Aid!!!" I would have flipped them off but my Scott Sabol-like gloves only have four fingers. One car stopped, and a couple of guys donated. My work was done.

Until the Academy starts the Oscar-hype machine, I think I'm going to relax, take some time off. Kristine, tell Leno I'm holding out for Conan.

posted by Shaun at 9:14 AM
link |

12 Comments:

Random and Odd commented at 9:28 AM~: OMG! this is THEE funniest post from you so far!!
Sissychong commented at 9:30 AM~: Wow those co-workers of yours have no sense of humor, those jokes were classical!
Charlotte in Pa commented at 1:01 PM~: I thought of the Kool Aid guy as soon as I saw the picture. So sorry! The Scott Sabol reference was hysterical... but it was the gang one that got me. I laughed until someone asked me what was so funny. How do you explain something like this to the non-blogging world??
Tina commented at 2:34 PM~: Can I be the person that holds your seat while you except your Oscar.. PLEASE, I would beable to hold Kristines hand while she cries with pride.
Shaun commented at 2:50 PM~: Tina,
Yes, you can hold my seat while I'm giving my acceptance speech. Kristine will be off taking pictures anyway. I'll get an Oscar, she'll get pictures of Clint Eastwood's untied shoelace.
The Merry Widow commented at 9:11 PM~: OMG!!! That was THE funniest post ever. "Guess what gang I'm representing!" PRICELESS! I would have so given blood for you, just for the jokes.
dashababy commented at 10:22 PM~: Oh gawd, I was laughin all the way thru,,, "all your other clothes were dirty",,, and those pompous marrow donors".
Too funny. Im just glad I didnt have a full bladder when I read this.
Cat commented at 6:47 AM~: Oh, no, no NO...If Leno calls, you gotta go. I mean, it's the TONIGHT SHOW. I'm just sayin'.
Cat commented at 6:51 AM~: Oh, and the whole "running out of the elevator like the blood from The Shining" scenario? Dude. Cut that shit out. You SO would have given me a heart attack!

Heh. Get it?

Never mind.
APStyle commented at 11:38 AM~: I just stumbled upon your blog - oh my god, the Blood Drop bit is hilar.
Vajana commented at 12:23 PM~: that is the worst when you have gold jokes like that and they are WASTED on a clueless audience.

Thank goodness you have us.

Those were hilarious! Now all you need is a little tape player with canned laughter so you get the effect of all of us laughing.
The Fonz commented at 7:43 AM~: If anyone comes in to read your blog Shaun feeling depressed sure wouldn't leave feeling the same way... You do have a way of making US ALL Crack up and leave here with a smile on our face's.. Love you....

Want to Post a Comment?

back to main page