Saturday, May 07, 2005
I was born a poor black child. Ok, maybe not, but I WAS born in Oakland, CA in 1969. My dad was in the Navy, and my mom's hair remained tall and proud in protest of the rapidly ending sixties.
Shotly after I was born, my parents bought a quaint little cottage in lovely South Sacramento (OK, it was actually more like the JV version of Oakland....Oakland Lite, maybe). I visited the house a few years ago, and it was painted red and black. True. I can tell my children that I grew up in a Nike.
For some twisted reason, I can still remember the address and phone number of that house. Might have something to do with the way parents drilled that into you as a kid in the 70's....like those damn Schoolhouse Rock tunes (sorry to those of you are singing "Conjunction Junction" or "I'm just a Bill" now). Anyhow, this was the home of my formative years:
I learned the lyrics of my favorite singer and future Mrs. Shaun, Miss Toni Tennille, by playing the record over and over and writing as fast as I could.
When I slept, I faced away from The Bad Wall, the wall in my room that gave me nightmares and that will be a Stephen King movie someday.
I watched baseball games and monster movies with my dad. King Kong played every summer, don't think I ever missed it.
I made forts out of bed sheets and our kitchen table and chairs.
My dad made a life-size Frankenstein for a book report for college literature.
I played....outside, with no electronic assistance. Just me and my Big Wheel. Maybe there'll be a Big Wheel game on XBox soon, so my son can share the same experience.
I remember catching a bee, drowning it in the bathroom sink so I could examine it under my new microscope, then stinging myself with the dead bee. Apparently bees make honey and karma, most schools don't tell you that.
I watched the Flintstones, The Brady Bunch, and The Electric Company (fyi for those of you nice enough to still be paying attention, Spider Man in The Electric Company was played by a young actor named Morgan Freeman). I cried at the end of the Mickey Mouse Club everyday, when they sang the song slowly..."M-I-C, see ya real soon...K-E-Y".....Steve Austin (Six Million Dollar Man) was my hero because he was cool and one of his girlfriends (Farrah Fawcett) was named Major Wood on the show......how fitting! The Bionic Woman sprouted up later, but I always felt like she was too clingy. She must have only cost $5 million to make.
I saw Star Wars twice at the theater, and met Darth Vader at Mervyn's during a promotional event. Darth seemed shorter than he looked in the movie, and I think Mervyn's must have had some policy against using the Force and/or Light Saber in the store, because Darth was actually nice enough to let us take polaroids of him. You'd think he would have worried about the Jedi learning of his location.
I took regular baths with twin girls that lived next door. REGULARLY. Like, they were scheduled. I still don't know how this seemed in any way appropriate by our parents, and I certainly don't remember how I broached the subject. Finding twins to bathe with became more diffult in my teen years, but thanks to Lisa and Renee for the kindergarten pimp status!! Bow-chik-a-bow-bow.
Part Two will delve into my bed-wetting, fire-starting, and dismemberment of creatures larger than bees. And hair, oh God the hair.
posted by Shaun at 1:28 AM
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