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Sunday, April 10, 2005

Weiner Lose

Ladies and gentlemen, the dreams of one of our contestants ends tonight. No more biblical tests or vows of abstinence. Anyone can do that. Our producers want to test the physical, mental, and emotional skills for Pope Idol. Mother Teresa has selected a hot dog eating contest as the first match-up of our finals....Elton John vs. Madonna in an all out battle of weiner gobbling divas.

Teresa, was first gained fame by her chain of Calcutta Hot Dog stands before becoming a saint, thinks this mind over matter contest will truly test endurance and gag reflexes.

Sir EJ and Madonna sit side by side, each studying the plate of 100 hot dogs in front of them. The contestant who swallows the most weiners in a minute advances in the competition. The loser goes home.

The Bell rings as the clock ticks down from one minute. The crowd cheers for each contestant. Each has adopted a strategy. EJ squeezes his target's buns before swallowing, while Madonna prefers to take multiple weiners at a time.

madonna hot dog

The contest is now getting ugly. Buns and stray weiners a thrown askew as the final bell rings. Each contestant falls back into their chair in exhaustion.

Teresa observes as two choir boys count the remaining dogs. We have a winner........right after this.

EJ, you are..............(dramatic pause)

going home, I'm sorry. Madonna, you have advance in the competition. According to the final counts, you actually swallowed all of your dogs and 7 of EJ's. Congratulations.....verrrry impressive.

So folks, now we're down to nine. Who's the next to leave? Stay tuned and find out.

Shaun ouuuuuutttttttttt.

posted by Shaun at 7:44 PM
link |


Blogger Tina commented at 10:57 PM~  

You are to funny. But come on now I knew Madona would win, she has way more experiance at swallowing than all the women I know.

Blogger kimmyk commented at 3:47 AM~  

What a shocking outcome!
Elton's such a bitch I thought he woulda taken Madonna.
Who knew she was such a weinie grubber!

Blogger Cat commented at 7:53 AM~  

Oh my gosh, you totally missed a Ryan Seacrest Bad Pu opportunity! You should have said, "We have a weiner....right after this." Bwahahahah!

Favorite line: "EJ squeezes his target's buns before swallowing, while Madonna prefers to take multiple weiners at a time." Oh, EW! Could I BE any more grossed out by this image?

Go Bonope! Bonope Saves!

Blogger Cat commented at 7:54 AM~  

Not "Bad Pu" (although that's pretty funny!). It should have been "Bad PUN." Oopsy daisy!

Blogger Mrs.Strizzay commented at 9:22 AM~  

clinton for president

Anonymous mrtl commented at 9:30 AM~  

EJ needed to go. He's not a lover, he's a hater. Have you heard some of the things he's said about my boy George "I'm Just a Love Machine" Michael lately? Good riddance!

Blogger Cat commented at 10:31 AM~  

Nu-uh?! EJ dissed GM? Ooooh, he better watch his back!!

Oh. Hey. Funny joke. Unintentional, but funny.

Hey, remember the Wham Rap?! "Hey, jerk! YOU work! This boy's got better things to do!"

Um, "Pray for Bonope!" Woot woot!

Anonymous mrtl commented at 1:56 PM~  

I ain't never gonna work
Get down in the dirt
I choooose to cruise

And now I'm laughing too hard and my parents are right here wondering.

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