Sunday, April 10, 2005
Ladies and gentlemen, the dreams of one of our contestants ends tonight. No more biblical tests or vows of abstinence. Anyone can do that. Our producers want to test the physical, mental, and emotional skills for Pope Idol. Mother Teresa has selected a hot dog eating contest as the first match-up of our finals....Elton John vs. Madonna in an all out battle of weiner gobbling divas.
Teresa, was first gained fame by her chain of Calcutta Hot Dog stands before becoming a saint, thinks this mind over matter contest will truly test endurance and gag reflexes.
Sir EJ and Madonna sit side by side, each studying the plate of 100 hot dogs in front of them. The contestant who swallows the most weiners in a minute advances in the competition. The loser goes home.
The Bell rings as the clock ticks down from one minute. The crowd cheers for each contestant. Each has adopted a strategy. EJ squeezes his target's buns before swallowing, while Madonna prefers to take multiple weiners at a time.
The contest is now getting ugly. Buns and stray weiners a thrown askew as the final bell rings. Each contestant falls back into their chair in exhaustion.
Teresa observes as two choir boys count the remaining dogs. We have a winner........right after this.
EJ, you are..............(dramatic pause)
going home, I'm sorry. Madonna, you have advance in the competition. According to the final counts, you actually swallowed all of your dogs and 7 of EJ's. Congratulations.....verrrry impressive.
So folks, now we're down to nine. Who's the next to leave? Stay tuned and find out.
posted by Shaun at 7:44 PM
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