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Thursday, April 14, 2005


Mother T has selected Jacko and Oprah for the next elimination. The contest is a simple one, a simple staring contest. They will make eye contact, and the first to break eye contact loses. They must remain seated, other than that, there are no rules. They can do or say anything to break the other's concentration.

The two are seated, and they make eye contact.....the battle is underway.

(Through Pope Idol's time lapse blogography, we advance to highlights of the contest. Out timer lists the minutes and seconds into the staring)

1:12- Oprah's nose shows the first bead of sweat. Between Jacko's low singing of McDonald's songs and that fucked up nose, her concentration on eye contact is difficult.

Things start getting ugly....fast. Each realizes the verbal jabs are the way to go.

1:47- "Look at my hair, Michael. Look at my nose. I'm black, Michael....remember? Rememmmmber?" Jacko winces a little, but maintains staring position.

2:57: "Dr.Phil says you're fat" he says with a little giggle.

3:03: "Your nose is sliding down your face"

Teeth and fists clench on each side. Beads of sweat roll.

3:12: "Oprah, why is Stedman grabbing that skinny white woman's ass behind you?"

Oprah fights off a 'black woman head spin', then smiles an evil smile and....

3:40: "Michael, Macaulay and Webster are french kissing behind you. They're looking for you, Michael"

Michael shoots up from the chair and spins around.

"My special friends, where ARE you?!?!"...then he realizes what has happened. His head drops in disappointment, partly for his absent friends and partly for losing.

Jacko, I'm sorry, but you are out. The choir boys you were talking to the other day are waiting for you in the lobby.

One battle left, Samuel L vs. Martha....for now, the quest for Poprah lives on......

Shaun outtttttttt.

posted by Shaun at 7:27 PM
link |

11 Comments:

Blogger dashababy commented at 8:38 PM~  

OMG!!! Me and mom are dying laughin here. Now you made mom go into a coughing fit. that is so freakin funny dude.
that was a dirty trick Oprah pulled.
Best one yet..hahahaa. sick.

Blogger kimmyk commented at 8:40 PM~  

Man, around the world small young male pilgrims are crying.
-All those dreams of sleeping over at the vatican-Squashed.
-Lama rides in St Peter's Square-Gone.
-Vanilla gelato's for a hug or secret tickle-Never again.

Anonymous mrtl commented at 10:13 PM~  

I'm catching up today, and I'm just going to say that I DON'T like how this is going.

Martha better kick some ass tomorrow.

Anonymous Quentin Tarantino commented at 11:23 PM~  

um,yeah....listen, mrtl, Mr. Jackson is one bad ass dude, OK? I seriously doubt Martha is going to beat him in anything other than a bake-off.

Blogger Cat commented at 4:07 AM~  

Oh, THANK GOODNESS. Wacko Jacko was really starting to creep me out.

Blogger Susie commented at 6:12 AM~  

Don't cry, Jacko. If all goes as it should, you'll still get to wear a funny costume and wave to people from the window of a large fortress. Poprah! Poprah!

Blogger Random and Odd commented at 7:33 AM~  

Very funny Susie!! ha ha ha ha!!

Blogger Random and Odd commented at 8:25 AM~  

Mom could have taken Poprah.

Anonymous Oprah commented at 8:52 AM~  

YOU try staring at that guy and not get oogied out.

Blogger Vajana commented at 1:00 PM~  

I'm sorry Mike Jackson....Oprah's for REEEEAAAALLLLL

Blogger little sister commented at 8:40 AM~  

Losin' it here in the middle of Indiana! A stare-down between Oprah and Jacko - how do you think of this?

kimmyk - you're a riot, too.

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