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Saturday, March 19, 2005

We enter the kitchen/family room.

Kristine is blogging away about something that will make other people cry. She is distracted from the glowing monitor by movement from across the darkened room. A cold chill runs down her spine as the overhead lights flicker. She is facing the cold, demonic eyes of a field mouse. The visitor is peeping up from the bowels of hell (ok, just from the oven burner). Kristine grabs for her weapon and fires. Shot after shot, and the rodent shrugs them off and returns to its firey home, vowing to return for her.

Kristine: I'm not afraid of you, you little bitch (only half confident of her statement).

Shaun enters the room after a hard day of manual labor. He sets down his construction hardhat and notices Kristine. She is still at the PC, but transfixed on the demon lair across the kitchen.

Kristine: Kill...the... bitch... Shaun.

Shaun: Damn you, Kristine. Don't make me do this. I'm telling you the same thing I told the Navy SEALs. I'm done killing. Have you ever had to look into the eyes of a dying field mouse? Have you?!?

He tries to turn away as Kristine stands and grabs him by his bulging biceps.....

Kristine: I'm so scared, Shaun. I just want her....dead. I watched that thing take shot after shot from my D-70, and it didn't even budge. Kill the bitch, Shaun. KILL IT.

(Their eyes meet and his knowing nod assures her that he will do what must be done to protect her)

He kisses her goodbye, grabs the keys to his Harley, fires it up and leaves for supplies for the final battle. Fighting off memories he swore he'd never relive, he purchases a two-pack of Victor mouse traps. He's going old-school on her rodent ass.

He loads up both traps, one with cheese and the other with peanut butter, and stealthly places them in the oven area.

Somewhere in the darkness of night, a snap echoes through the house. The little bitch got greedy, and her final meal was a taste of peanut butter and the taste of cold steel snapping her to death.

Shaun 1, mouse 0.

posted by Shaun at 3:21 PM
link |


Blogger Shaun commented at 3:25 PM~  

test reply

Blogger Random and Odd commented at 3:34 PM~  

My Hero!


Blogger augieboy commented at 7:32 PM~  

"open up in there mister".
"it's the spca. we're looking for stuart little's sister, leelu. we heard she was here for all the yummy peanut-butter and crumbs, and to see kristine. she's a huge fan of her blog."

Anonymous dashababy commented at 8:36 PM~  

ok, wheres the pic of the dead mouse???

Blogger snaps79 commented at 8:55 PM~  


I hate mice and trapped FOUR in one week back in September here in my old building. Two were babies. I used sticky traps. Do you know how gross that is to come home and see them flailing around??? I'm shuddering right now. Icky icky icky icky icky!

Blogger The Fonz commented at 7:53 AM~  

Well at least you gave her a nice last super before the hard steal came down on her cute lil neck. but i'm afraid that you haven't heard the last of leelu's big bro.
'I'll BE BACK'
'=) Love Mom

Anonymous Anonymous commented at 6:30 PM~  

nice blog enjoyed it :)

Keep up the excellent work! and i bookmarked u!

so cant wait for ur next post! :)


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