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Tuesday, March 29, 2005

Make Your Own Constantine


, originally uploaded by slowchildrenatplay.

1 part Gary Sinise (unshaven)
1 part Chris Kattan (creepy version)
1 part Jaclyn Smith (hair conditioned)
1 part yellow-beige toothpaste
0 parts talent
Blend well, add scarf if desired

Sorry Cat, but this guy's just plain creepy now. I've never wanted to brush and floss a TV screen before. With every hair-tuck, head-down-with-the-puppy-dog-eyes-look, and smoker's smile, I go a little more angry. The lame songs don't help. Isn't he supposed to be a rocker??

Uggghh....anyone know how to get Crest off of a TV screen?

posted by Shaun at 9:41 PM
link |

12 Comments:

Blogger Random and Odd commented at 8:05 AM~  

You better watch out, Cat is going to get you!

Cat if you're reading this, you should see his frustration when Constantine sings. It's actually physically painful.

I can't watch Trach guy, he freaks me out!

Blogger Cat commented at 11:22 AM~  

Oh no you D'INT! You better step off my Greek God Idol, bizzyotch! His smarm, it's MOO-ves me, get it? Moo? ...ves me? Like Bo's joke? Last night? Dear lord, what am I saying? Has the world gone INSANE?!

Okay, I am aware that Constantine drives some people to religion, in that "Dear God make him STOP!" kind of way. But I like him! God help me, I DO! I DON'T CARE! GAH!

Kristine, I wish I could see the physical pain. That would crack me right up. But I think I saw something close to what you've described: When Constantine started singing, TGIM actually bolted in from the other room yelling "What the hell is THAT?!" He was, um, NOT impressed. I believe there was some dry-heaving involved.

Anonymous Anonymous commented at 1:28 PM~  

Oh God Cat!! Are you listening to yourself? Your Greek god is Keith Partridge minus the good looks, talent, and multi-color bus. That buttery smile has you hypnotized. How many Marlboro points does Constantine get if he wins American Idol, anyway??

Blogger Shaun commented at 1:33 PM~  

Oh God Cat!! Are you listening to yourself? Your Greek god is Keith Partridge minus the good looks, talent, and multi-color bus. That buttery smile has you hypnotized. How many Marlboro points does Constantine get if he wins American Idol, anyway??

Blogger dashababy commented at 4:40 PM~  

OMG! The comments are as funny as your post. "Dry heaving", hahahahha.
I hafta say, Constantine is really creepy but I gotta give him credit for being entertaining at least.
He does cause quite a stir in our household as well. He sang a girl song, I hate that. And the big mystery for me is how does a guy with no chin, have 2 of them?
Theres no way he will win this thing!
Anwar,,,,, ugh finally sang a guy song, cant stand him and his crazy eye.
Kris, youre mean, "Trach boy". hehe. funny but mean. I cant stop staring at it either.

Blogger Cat commented at 6:12 PM~  

Okay, in defense of my Greek God Idol, another Greek God of the Music sang COnstantine's song, and sang it OH SO well. But he sings EVERYTHING OH SO well. *sigh* His name? Georgios Kyriacos Panayiotou, a.k.a.: George Michael.

Blogger kimmyk commented at 7:11 PM~  

I like Constantine, sort of reminds me of that old lead singer of Creed-his name escapes me now just as I'm sure Constantine's will in a year, anyways...after reading your post I found myself staring at the tv lookin at his teeth. I just want you to know you've totally ruined it for me now. I'm gonna be lookin at all thier teeth...except for um Jessica's cause we all know now she got the booty call.

Blogger Pissy Britches commented at 8:45 AM~  

Constantine is aight'...he is kind of a hottie and looks like he has a nice package..not that you care about that. He really doesn't sing all that great but hey..he made it this far.
I used to be a really big fan but he has been suckin lately..he is boring me to death

Anonymous Anonymous commented at 5:32 PM~  

You are a sad and pathetic human being. What a lonely life you must lead that this is what you spend your energy on.

Anonymous Anonymous commented at 5:32 PM~  

You are a sad and pathetic human being. What a lonely life you must lead that this is what you spend your energy on.

Blogger Random and Odd commented at 9:19 AM~  

aww Shaun these people said you are sad and pathetic!
You also have a 'lonely' life.

Lonely...5 kids, a job, a loving girlfriend and a mooshu mooshu monkey dog, softball practice, dentist apppointments, ex's...the fact that you find time for all this in your lonely life escapes me.

LOL.

Blogging for a few months and you already have asstrolls. HOW COME I CANT GET THIS KIND OF PUBLICITY!? h

hee hee.

Blogger Cat commented at 5:03 AM~  

Shaun, I am SO not kidding, I think these people are INSANE! Certifiably! I just scrolled through the AI posts and I was flabbergasted, FLABBERGASTED, I say! These fans are out of control! Some psycho fan was posting about how Constantine should sue for emotional distress, and kept going on and on about how "the proper authorities have been notified..." Right. I can see said authorities scratching their heads over this and wondering, "Why me, Lord? Why?!" Could these fans BE any more crazy? Oh my gosh, I was laughing SO hard, I almost peed my pants! Someone needs to get these people some counseling before they harm someone.

And to anonymous, what are you? 12? IMHO, only sad, pathetic, cowardly human beings waste THEIR energy posting anonymous hate mail on someone else's website. Freak.

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