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Thursday, February 17, 2005

Yikes!!!!


, originally uploaded by slowchildrenatplay.

My poor honey.

This cold/flu shit is hitting her hard. I reference the cult classic Evil Dead for the closest comparison. Somewhere in a cabin in the woods, a professor is reciting a passage from Snotmucus, which is Latin for Book of The Flu. Evil flu spirits are awoken from the dead. They have possessed what used to be a beautiful, snotless, vertical woman.

Its times like this when you question God. How could a merciful god allow a pack of rabid wolverines to attack a few defenseless kleenex boxes on our bed? In the dark, I step on wet washcloths and smell Vicks Vaporub. Oh, the humanity!!! This room used to smell like candles....although the wet washcloths were always there.

NyQuil, DayQuil. If there was an MidMorningQuil, it would be in this kitchen half-empty right now. Empty pill packages, little sharp-ass aluminum foil and plastic remnants of our drug supply, now litter our house.

I'm popping Vitamin C and washing my hands like a maniac. After hearing one of her sneezing fits, I actually boiled one of our kids to protect them. I had to rethink the Outbreak-style bedroom door barrier and HazMat suits....all my clothes are in there and I can't work the remote with those big gloves. Guess I'll hve to take my chances.

Wish me luck...oh, we're at Mucus Level Apple-Green right now. Things look safe for me to get to bed.

posted by Shaun at 10:42 PM
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2 Comments:

Blogger dashababy commented at 11:52 AM~  

good god you are a funny man. i love it.

Blogger Pissy Britches commented at 6:33 PM~  

Good luck dude! She is really freaking horribly sick. Make her better!!! Please!

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