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Saturday, February 19, 2005

Artificial Crab


, originally uploaded by slowchildrenatplay.

OK, so as part of my plea bargain with the District Attorney's office, I need to post an educational blog entry.

While in the grocery store today, I passed the seafood section and the artificial crab caught my eye. Not because I like seafood (I don't), but just because of the purpose of this food. You don't see artificial beef or chicken so whats up with the crab. And why does it look just like the real thing? Maybe I HAVE been eating artificial beef all along. ***sidenote, before I forget...superficial crab would be a good band name***

So I decided to do some research, and found out the following(thanks Google):

The flaky, red-edged faux crab is most likely made of Alaska Pollock. This ugly-ass fish is is the most common fish used to make fake crab, although New Zealand Hoki is also used, and some Asian manufacturers use Southeast Asian fish like Golden Treadfin Bream and White Croaker(another great band name).

The processing of imitation crabmeat begins with the skinning and boning of the fish. Then the meat is minced and rinsed, and the water is leached out. This creates a thick paste called surimi(Japanese for "nasty fish-paste shit").

Many ingredients are added to the surimi to give it a stable form, appealing texture, and crab-like flavor. Sugar, sorbitol(yummy!), wheat or tapioca starch, egg whites, and vegetable or soybean oil can all help improve the form of the surimi. Natural and artificial crab flavorings are added, and some of these flavorings are made from real crab or from boiled shells. Carmine, caramel, paprika, and annatto extract are often used to make the crab's red, orange, or pink coloring.

Just to fuck with the seafood industry, I'm going to invent artificial Alaska Pollock, made with real crab. Well, time for my REAL pot roast.

posted by Shaun at 5:47 PM
link |

4 Comments:

Blogger dashababy commented at 7:51 PM~  

I actually saw them make this stuff on t.v. along time ago and i didnt eat it for years. it took me awhile to forget that and now you had to go and remind me again why i shouldnt eat it.
and i still dont wanna know how they make hotdogs. ive managed to block that one from my memory because i love em so much.

Blogger Pissy Britches commented at 5:50 PM~  

That sounds nasty. I knew there was a reason I don't eat that shit.

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